I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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