I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
