will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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