My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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