Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
