dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
