Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
