No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
