those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
