I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
