I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
