you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
