the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
