Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
