The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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