just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
