you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
