I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
