we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
