I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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