Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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