***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
