just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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