shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
