was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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