Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
