it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
