If you die in college, do you die in real life?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
