i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
