I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
