you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
