why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
