I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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