The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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