Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
