vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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