We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
