I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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