Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
