Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
