Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
sex in a hospital.. check
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
