Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
