During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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