Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
