i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
