Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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