now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
