He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Farmville is her only friend.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
