your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
