You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
