dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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