how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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