: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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