the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
